Alphabet Weekends

[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
1. Preface
Preface
“We should have never done this! I knew this would fuck everything up,” Bella
chastised, as Edward just stared blankly at her from across her bed.
They had set up the rules, she had implemented them—she had been the one to really
enforce them strictly, but damn it all to hell, rules were meant to be broken.
“What do you want me to say Bella? I have no fucking clue what you want me to say,
so please…please don’t act like I’m the bad guy! You were just a much a part of this,
as I was. You agreed from the very beginning. I’m not the only one at fault here.”
Bella wailed as she grabbed at the roots of her hair, muttering, “I knew it, I knew
this would happen.”
“There’s only one letter left, Bella. Let’s just finish what we started. After that, will
see what happens,” Edward whispered, walking up to her, bumping his shoulder with
hers, trying to calm her down, but it didn’t work; she was unbelievably tense.
He pulled the hat from the drawer, shook it twice, and handed it to Bella. They both
knew what the letter was, but this was how the game was played since they first
started four months ago.
“It’s my turn,” he muttered, taking a deep breath as he pulled up the rolled up loose
leaf paper. Quickly pocketing the paper after reading it, he walked out of their
apartment to prepare for Saturday, leaving Bella to fester alone with her thoughts.
Chapter One: The game and ALL its
rules
"Man, I need to find me a woman like Liz Lemon," Edward moaned in between a
handful of popcorn eyeing Tina Fey on the screen as if she was the cure for cancer.
"A little nuts, intelligent, and crazy hot. I would give it to her so hard, and she would
have to keep the glasses on. Definitely with her glasses on."
"Yeah, she’s hot. She looks like one of those closet freaks, like a ‘lady in the streets,
freak in the sheets’," Bella commented back, trying to be stealthy as she stole
another sip of Edward’s beer. It wasn’t his first of the night, nor was it her first
stolen sip of the night.
"My kind of girl! And stop drinking my beer, Swan. You said you didn’t want any, so
piss off," he scolded, pulling the beer far from her, keeping it out of her reach.
"Whatever, Cullen," Bella scoffed, rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms and pouted,
sticking out her bottom lip. She made sure to keep her eyes on Edward. She looked so
much like the stubborn little girl she was growing up. Yes, it was immature, but the
face was lethal. Edward could never resist.
"Aww, come on, Bells. Not the face! Anything, but the face! I can’t handle the fucking
face," he winced, trying to avert her. He even went as far as closing his eyes, but she
whimpered, “Eddddd-ward!”, and that was it. He handed the beer right over, much to
Bella’s delight. She smiled smugly, tilting the neck of the bottle toward him in a
strange sort of ‘Thank you’ and ‘I’ll always win’ toast and took a long chug of the
frothy beverage, moaning in satisfaction, mostly to piss Edward off.
"I can’t believe I’ve been falling for that look for the last twenty years." He shook his
head in disbelief. He should already be immune to it and yet every time, like
clockwork, Bella’s bottom lip pushed forward and Edward conceded. It was fucking
unfair, if you asked him.
"Yeah, you’re pretty much an idiot for it," Bella chided, laughing loudly, which only
served to add salt to Edward’s wounds.
"Oh really?" Edward voice rose suggestively at the end of the word really, and by the
look on his face, the sly smirk and raised eyebrow, Bella knew what was coming and
immediately jumped off the couch.
"Look Edward, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it," Bella pleaded, retreating from the living
room as she watched Edward begin to make his way to her. He looked like a lion on the
prowl, crazy mane and all.
"I don’t think so, Swan. I think you need to pay for that one," he growled as he lunged
at her, swiftly and gracefully leaping over the sofa to trap her against the floor.
"Prepare to feel my wrath, Bella," he bellowed, latching his fingers at her side. He
hesitated, letting Bella feel at peace for a moment. Anticipation is the best weapon
for such an attack, and Edward knew it. He slowly let his finger tips ghost across her
ribs over her shirt. He emitted a hearty laugh and tickled her, relentlessly. It was
amusing to watch as Bella laughed in hysterics, pleading for him to stop while tears
streamed down her face as Edward’s fingers skillfully hit each ticklish spot, not
stopping. Nothing had changed for them since they were kids. They would always be
the same two crazy best friends who lived for one another.
They met when they were four at a play date set up by both their mothers one day
after they met at the local supermarket when each of them was just four. Bella’s
mother, Renee, was unbelievably scatterbrained. To this day, Bella had no idea how
Renee actually went about living. Renee had been too busy trying to stop Bella’s
whining about a box of cookies she wouldn’t get her, that she hadn’t realized where
she was steering her shopping cart, when she suddenly collided with the end of
Edward’s mother, Esme. Bella’s mother never failed to remind her that Edward had
been the epitome of the perfect child. He was quiet, staring up at his mother
earnestly as she explained to him what happened. He had just smiled, apparently as
Bella only continued to cry hysterically.
But that had not been the reason that they had set up the play date. That came when
Edward had managed to stop Bella’s crying by passing her a piece of strawberry
candy. Bella had shyly accepted it, sniffling as she thanked him, and in the “sweetest,
most adorable voice”, Renee’s words, not Bella’s, he told her ‘pretty girls shouldn’t
cry’.
The rest is as they say… history.
From then on in, the two have been an unstoppable force. They did everything
together, even as they got older they never let the stigma of having a best friend of
the opposite sex affect them, even after one of their classmates, Tyler Crowley in
high school had called Edward a pussy because Bella was only his friend and not more.
To this day, Tyler still has a small scar just above his left eyebrow from when Edward
smacked him with a textbook.
They had shared many things together, including their first kiss at the age of eleven
during a game of spin the bottle, and losing their virginity, because Edward didn’t
want to suck when he actually “finally got around to fucking a girl” and Bella just
wanted to get it over with already. Regardless of all this, all these things that almost
always destroyed the very being of a relationship between best friends, Edward and
Bella remained unfazed by it, and continued on the way they always were. They were
the kind of friends you always heard about that could finish each other’s sentences,
and always seemed to be in harmony, always knowing what the other is thinking.
It was only natural they moved in together after college. They knew each other’s
habits, whether it was Bella always finishing the milk, or Edward’s nasty habit of
leaving his underwear on the bathroom floor. They knew each other through and
through. No subject was taboo, including sex.
“Edward, stop. STOP! My stomach is starting to hurt. STOP!” she bellyached,
desperately trying to pry Edward’s fingers away. Edward stopped and picked himself
up off the floor, helping Bella up after. The two walked back to their spots on the
couch, picking up from where they left off, watching Tina Fey and drinking beer.
“When did we become such losers?” Bella asked as she grabbed an Oreo cookie, and
twisted it perfectly so all the cream stayed to one side.
“Speak for yourself there, Bella!” Edward scoffed through a mouthful of cookie.
“If I’m not mistaken, I’m not the only one home on a Saturday night watching reruns
of 30 Rock in my pajamas, which in fact have been on since last night,” Bella argued,
throwing the cream less side of her Oreo at Edward, who nonchalantly just picked it
off his thigh and ate it.
“God, I don’t even remember the last time I got laid,” Bella continued, catching
Edward’s attention wholly now.
“Tell me about it,” he interjects, “Well, I remember, but I can’t remember the last
time I got laid properly. Tanya was abysmal. She was so stiff, never wanted to try
anything, and God forbid if my dick ever came near her mouth. Do you know she bit
it? She bit my fucking dick, man. That was the worst thing ever,” Edward reminisced,
his face scrunching as he remembered the pain.
“I remember,” Bella started to laugh. “You came flying out of your bedroom, crying
and screaming like a little girl.” Bella stood up and started running around the living
room, her hands held over herself.
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK? SHE BIT ME! SHE FUCKING CHOMPED
ON IT! ICE! I NEED SOME FUCKING ICE! BELLA! HELP ME!” Bella masterfully acted
out, voice screeching just as Edward’s had that night. She crashed down on the couch
laughing hysterically afterwards.
“That’s not funny, Bells. You don’t have a penis, so you wouldn’t know. Plus, it’s not like
your sex life is any better than mine. How many times did I hear you fake it with
Jacob?” Edward countered, imitating her just like she had done of him.
“Oh, Jacob! Ah. OOH. Yeah. I’m coming,” he mimicked, his voice dead and monotone.
Bella groaned, covering her face with her hands, embarrassed thoroughly.
“Ugh, he was terrible. Talk about minute man. The only upside was that his fingers
were so thick and long, and those…those were magical,” Bella recounted, chuckling.
“Magical fingers. It sounds like a bad name for a sex toy.”
“I need to get laid,” Edward suddenly spoke, huffing as he crossed his arms.
“Ditto,” Bella answered, quickly. She couldn’t have agreed more, but Edward had taken
it the wrong way.
“Excuse me? You need to get laid too!”
“I know that! That’s what I meant,” she chided, throwing a pillow at him that missed
him by a mile. He picked it up without even having to get up out of his seat. Bella
mentally cursed him and his long limbs. He held up the pillow, aiming it right at Bella.
“Do you really want to start this?” he challenged, smirking forebodingly. She shook
her head no and Edward dropped the pillow back onto the couch.
“I need some excitement, something interesting in my life,” Bella murmured, turning
to the television, the humongous monster of a flat screen that Edward insisted they
needed. She kept her eyes focused on the television screen as Tracy Morgan’s
character threw a tantrum, but every so often, she peeked over at Edward, who
looked deep in thought, contemplating something difficult.
“You doing math in your head, Cullen?” she asked sarcastically, chuckling at the old
joke. It was something she always said to him.
“Very funny, Bella. Never gets old. I’m trying to think of ways to make our lives
exciting.” He turned to her, gazing at her seriously, which always managed to make
Bella nervous. That stare never meant anything good.
“Bella, how opposed to sex are you?” he asked, earnestly, turning the television off as
he focused entirely at her. Bella sighed.
“Obviously I’m not opposed to it. What kind of a stupid question is that?” Bella rolled
her eyes and made to reach for the remote, but Edward swatted her hand away. He
took a deep breath, and began speaking again, this time his voice wavered slightly.
“Let me rephrase that. This is going to sound ridiculous, but how opposed to sex with
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]